True Confessions: I am a 99 Cents Store Slut

Hi F&F,

I am a 99 cents store slut. I will give it up (money; that is) for a quick roll down the aisle of any 99 cents store. I’m not a shopaholic; but a 99 cents store is different.  My judgement fails me. In a 99 cents store, I will spread my wallet wide and peel off the dollar bills; quicker than a fat bald guy in a bad suit, at a strip club. Weather I’m in my hometown or across the country; I will manage to hook up with one or more of these stores.

If I told you how many procurement partners I’ve had; you might be shocked. Granted, the number is not as staggering as the number of sexual conquests claimed by the late basketball player Wilt Chamberlain but, I assure you the number is pretty impressive. I’ve tapped a lot of 99 cents stores.  So many in fact; I can’t recall all their names.  I do remember Jacks; offering three unusually large floors of intense shopping pleasure but, otherwise, one 99 cents store is the same as any other 99 cents store. I can pretty much get what I crave from any of them; the thrill of buying super cheap and often useless crap.

My most recent 99 cent store haul: Japanese kitsch aprons and toys,Mexican ice pops and familiar laundry soap made exotic by the foreign language label

I understand that I may sound selfish or insulting.  You are thinking how sad; where is brand loyalty and commitment; where is the contentment that comes from developing a strong and satisfying merchant customer bond?   Let me assure you nobody gets hurt in this business. It is the shopping equivalent of the zipless f**k.  The fact that most of the store names are interchangeable reveals their true intentions. Just try Googling 99 cents store for your hometown. You will see what I mean.  They’re not looking for a lifetime commitment. They are looking for the wham, bam, thank you ma’am; the quick and dirty sale.  It’s their business model and I like it.  A little cheap “extra-consumer” activity is a great stress reliever.

Hester Prynne wore the scarlet “A” for adultery. I will wear the scarlet “B” for bargain and hold my head up high.  Hester Prynne refused to divulge the name of her lover but, I will share with you one of the websites that incites my scandalous behavior.

Dollar Store Crafts

I bet you won’t be able to resist.

Peace,

ATreeGrowsinBklyn

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About atreegrowsinbklyn

I’m an analog girl living in a digital world. I’m happy except when I’m sad. I’m serious, smart and sophisticated except when I’m silly, obtuse and crude. I’m ambitious and disciplined; except when I’m apathetic and self indulgent. I‘m thoughtful, generous and honest; except when I’m insensitive, cheap and lying. I’m grateful; I’m grateful; I am grateful.
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5 Responses to True Confessions: I am a 99 Cents Store Slut

  1. lm1947 says:

    I must confess that I am also a ninety-nice cent store devotee. It is hard to pass up the temptation, however, not all store offer the same quality. My store is under new management and improving rapidly.

    Where is that 3-floor Jack’s that you mentioned; I would love to visit it.

    • Hi L,

      There are a few Jacks locations in Manhattan, but the flagship store is located at West 32nd street between 6th and 7th avenues. Be prepared; it is always busy but, it can be a zoo with office workers around lunch time and during evening rush hours.

      I have found Satuday and Sunday morings and weekdays between 9:30 am and 11:30 to be good times to go; for a less chaotic shopping experience.

      Store Hours:
      Mon–Fri: 7:30 am–7:45 pm
      Sat: 10 am–6:45 pm
      Sun: 10 am–5:45 pm

      Happy Shopping!

  2. Katie says:

    Gah! I love dollar stores! I always feel like I need to wash my hands after I’ve been in them though… I loved this post!

    • Hi Katie

      Thanks for visiting the site. I know what you are talking about. The shelves in those stores always always seem a little dusty. Digging for discounts is a dirty job. Fortunately, you can usually find hand sanitizers there too.

      Peace
      ATreeGrowsinBklyn

  3. Pingback: Portrait of my Purse: A Diffrent Kind of Selfie | atreegrowsinbklyn

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