Weekly Photo Challenge: Nostalgic

On Monday, July 8th we gathered to celebrate the life of my Mom, Ruth.  Leading up to the Hawaiian themed event, I was preoccupied with the numerous small tasks required to execute a large-scale event. I also used the small tasks as a means of procrastinating on the huge task of writing (and later delivering) the obituary/eulogy.

I was unable to participate in last week’s photo challenge. My plate was full and there was no room for the tasty treat of blogging. Today is Thursday at 1:30 am (I really shouldn’t have had that cup of coffee after dinner) and once again, I have returned to the blogosphere to find that this week’s photo challenge – nostalgic, mirrors my current state of mind.

Mom, Inc. at the Library

For this week’s photo challenge I’m sharing a picture of my Mom, Inc.; gloriously color coordinated, and bedecked with a butterfly (oh how she loved butterflies!) I am also, sharing a brief excerpt from the eulogy.

Warning: Written the way I speak and written from the heart; this excerpt won’t win any grammar awards.

When someone dies the survivors sometimes remember the past through rose-colored glasses or through a gauze covered lens – softening a shared history that had rough patches and jagged edges.

I hope I never do that.

I hope I never do that because my relationship with my Mom was wonderful.  Our close relationship stands in its own unique and authentic beauty.

It wasn’t picture perfect. If you looked closely you would have seen the bumps and the bruises that come from holding on a little too tightly. And the scrapes that come when you give your loved one enough space to run, explore, and stumble.

What’s so great was that we knew our bond was special. Long before the specter of death compelled us to grasp for every last moment of connection. We were already tethered. We knew each other by heart and so we could be present in this process. Not a bit of precious and waning energy expended on preserving a false front.

I think it made her departure easier.  I know it made it an honor and privilege for me to be a helper and a witness to her final journey.

I think, together we experienced it in the same way we experienced all of our travels together – as loving family and as intimate friends.

I hope you will remember her clearly as she really was. That would be the best. Because, who she was – was a pretty spectacular multifaceted person.

A gem.

A flawed diamond.

So beautiful in the light. She is part of the light now.

Let the light shine on us.

Let the light shine through us.

Let your light shine.

That would honor her.

That would make her happy.




About atreegrowsinbklyn

I’m an analog girl living in a digital world. I’m happy except when I’m sad. I’m serious, smart and sophisticated except when I’m silly, obtuse and crude. I’m ambitious and disciplined; except when I’m apathetic and self indulgent. I‘m thoughtful, generous and honest; except when I’m insensitive, cheap and lying. I’m grateful; I’m grateful; I am grateful.
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8 Responses to Weekly Photo Challenge: Nostalgic

  1. Angeline M says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your Mom was a beautiful woman; your eulogy is eloquent and I think she would have loved that…. Aloha ‘oe.

  2. Moe says:

    Crying and smiling…..xoxo

    • That pretty much sums it up. Mom was so present in the celebration. At one point in the eulogy, as I was giving her a particular “shout out”, the door right next to me unlocked and swung open. A collective gasp, smiles, peals of laughter and a smattering of applause followed. I said – Hi Mom; have a seat. It was THE COOLEST THING, EVER !!!!

  3. The spirit of the loved one stays around just long enough to soothe our pain, and to let us know they’re keeping a watch; making sure we’re safe, before departing on the next stage of their journey into eternity.

  4. Thank you for sharing such a lovely thought.

  5. Touch2Touch says:

    Such a beautiful tribute, and a portrait equally beautiful.
    You were both lucky women, Adrienne.
    Love and wishes —

    • Thank you for your kind words. I feel so lucky, blessed and grateful. That picture was taken on a day when my brother and I joined her for a Dixieland music concert at the local library. We had so much fun together. The picture seems to capture her energy. I can almost hear her voice and laughter emanating from the photo. 🙂

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